


A House Was Not a Home

by Irhaboggle



Category: Danger Mouse (Cartoon 2015), Danger Mouse (TV)
Genre: Adopted, Adoption, Children, Cute, F/M, Family, Fluff, Humor, Kids, Married Couple, Old Married Couple, One Shot, Romance, Shenanigans, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2020-06-30 05:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19846933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggle/pseuds/Irhaboggle
Summary: Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck have adopted two little kids but being parents isn't always easy, especially in their line of work, luckily though, the other Danger Agents are more than willing to help out and the family comes to realize that their truest home is not in a normal or safe environment, but in one full of love and support, no matter how odd it may be.





	1. A House Was Not a Home

"Gah! Danger Mouse! I thought we'd agreed that we'd keep the kids out of the lab!" Professor Squawkencluck cried as she caught sight of two little kids running around her lab. One was a little white tigress named Layley, and she was about four years old. The other was a little baby albino raccoon kit, named Wimbert. Both of them were busily and eagerly exploring Professor Squawkencluck's lab. So far, everything (and every _one_ ) was still in one piece, but there was no guarantee on how long it would last. That was what Professor Squawkencluck was worried about.

"Ah, sorry about that, Squawky!" the handsome white mouse replied, not sounding sorry at all. "But I needed some place safe to store the kids while Penfold and I were out on a mission!"

"And you thought the lab would suffice?!" Professor Squawkencluck cried angrily, waving her wings at the children in exasperation.

"They're doing fine, aren't they?" Danger Mouse replied with a nonchalant shrug, missing the point Professor Squawkencluck was trying to make.

"It's not a nursery!" she continued to squawk, but Danger Mouse remained unruffled. As far as he was concerned, as long as the kids were ok, nothing else really mattered. Sure, maybe a science lab full of dangerous technology and chemicals wasn't exactly the best playground that the world had to offer, but sometimes, one just had to improvise.

"Improvise?!" Professor Squawkencluck growled dangerously as she scooped the two children up off the floor.

"Awww, mum!" Layley wiggled a little, but made no further attempt escape the hen's surprisingly strong grip. But then again, she spent long hours building all sorts of complex and massive machinery, of course she would be incredibly physically strong. What were two wild little kids compared to all of the robots Professor Squawkencluck had built and torn down over the course of her time at the Danger Agency?

"None of that now, Lala!" the hen clucked warningly, using the child's nickname. Layley lowered her ears in a mix of anger and sadness, but she made no further attempt to argue away from her mother's wings. Professor Squawkencluck could be quite scary when she wanted to be.

Wimbert, meanwhile, only cooed and chittered, making little noises that sounded like a mix of adoration for his mother and protestation that she should be picking him up and moving him away from the fun excitement of exploring the lab.

"Now, if you don't mind, perhaps you could take the kids home while I finish up here?" Professor Squawkencluck asked, narrowing her eyes as she handed the children to Danger Mouse.

"Ah, well, yes, about that…" Danger Mouse suddenly began to look very sheepish and Professor Squawkencluck's face instantly went into a flat and deadpan expression. Oh joy of joys, she knew what was coming next…

"And what did you do this time?" her voice matched her unamused and slightly irritated expression.

"Well, you see, Professor…" and that was how Professor Squawkencluck really knew Danger Mouse was nervous. Ever since they'd gotten married a few years back, he had stopped calling her Professor (even though it was also technically her first name, and not just a title). So whenever he would slip back into the old habit of calling her "Professor" that was how she knew he knew he was about to face her (most likely justified) wrath. Professor Squawkencluck only slapped a wing to her face. Her airheaded husband really was not helping his case right now!

"Just spit it out!" she cried in exasperation. Even though they had been married for a few years now (long enough to enjoy time alone together before adopting Layley, and then a few years later Wimbert), it was sometimes like no time had passed at all. They were still that bickering pair of teammates that spent half their time promoting their own ideas and the other half, criticizing each other. They still did love one another deeply, but the honeymoon phase was long gone for them and it was back to bickering like the old married couple they were, all day every day, little disagreements and headbutting.

"Well, Professor, you see, when Penfold and I were out stopping the Baron's latest evil scheme we may or may not have accidentally crashed the Danger Car into our apartment," Danger Mouse gave his wife a pathetic and terrified little smile while her eyes and mouth went wide.

"You? What?" uh oh…

But while Professor Squawkencluck struggled to keep her calm, the two children in Danger Mouse's arms began to squirm again. They were so used to their parents' little spats that they felt no fear whenever the two would start arguing again. Instead, they only wanted to keep playing and exploring the place their mother spent so much time in. Dad had taken them around to see the Danger Agency before and he had shown them both a little bit of his workspace. He'd shown them the Danger Car, the Danger Lounge, the Holo-deck, Grandpa Colonel K's office (yes, he insisted that they call him by both titles), Uncle Penfold's office, his own office, the armory, the training room, etc) but they had yet to ever really get a chance to see their mother's domain. Now, with their own house in smoldering ruins, now seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to see it.

"C'mon, daddy!" Layley whined, wiggling against her father's arms. Since she knew he was the more laidback one, she knew she was most likely to get her way if she asked him for it.

"Not now, Lala," Danger Mouse told her distractedly, still looking quite nervous of the glowering hen standing before him, wings on her hips.

"But daddy!" Layley whined again, starting to wiggle harder against her father's grip. Once again, she was not frightened of her mother's wrath at all. At least as long as she knew it was not being directed at her. And it wasn't. Today, it was being directed at daddy… again.

Then, while the mouse and hen continued to go back and forth, Layley finally managed to loose herself from Danger Mouse's arms. Her little adoptive brother chittered and whined when he saw her fall safely to the floor and away from their father's confining grasp. He reached out his little claws and she held up a claw to her lips. She tiptoed away from her bickering parents, then, and carefully clawed her way up the side of one of Professor Squawkencluck's lab tables. It had wooden legs, so that was how Layley was able to slowly but surely clamber her way up from the ground to the tabletop. She left a neat little row of holes in the leg she had chosen to climb up.

Once at the top, she delicately and gracefully bounced along on four paws instead of two, weaving in and out of all of the precious things that lined her mother's workbenches and tables. At last, then, she was at eyelevel with her little brother.

"C'mon, Wimmy!" she whispered, using his nickname. She reached out a paw to him and he took it quickly, giving her a very toothy smile as she carefully pulled him out of their father's grip. His little feet scrabbled against Danger Mouse's chest, but the mouse in question was so busy trying to explain things to his rather irritated wife that he didn't even notice it when both of his kids managed to successfully escape. And nor their mum.

"Alright! Yeah! We're free!" Layley grinned, then stood back up on her hind paws. She took her little brother's paw in her own and flicked her ears back down the table. Wimbert, meanwhile, gave her another giant grin and squeezed her paw once. Since he was only five months, he still had yet to start speaking, but he could definitely communicate.

"Alrighty then! Let's go and explore, Wimmy!" Layley's grin widened as her brother silently communicated his consent, then with that, the two of them carefully snuck away from their bickering parents, headed back to explore the rest of their mother's world. Meanwhile, their parents could only continue to argue about their children.

"-need to keep a better eye on the kids!" Professor Squawkencluck was in the middle of saying, unaware of the irony in her remark.

"They were totally fine!" Danger Mouse cried back defensively. "There's no place safer in all of London than _your_ lab!"

"But who knows if they would've stayed that way?! Need I remind you of what happened the last time we had a kid in this lab!?" the hen cried.

"But that was all _your_ idea!" Danger Mouse argued back. He knew she was referring to Dawn Crumhorn. She was not so young or small now, but the very first time she'd ever met Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck, she had only been a child herself. What a disastrous day that had been! But as Danger Mouse was trying to remind Professor Squawkencluck, that incident had not been his fault. If anything, it had been _hers_!

"Don't go pinning this all on me!" the hen squawked back indignantly.

"I'm not trying to!" came the angry plead. "I'm only saying that in light of our house being totally decimated, I needed some place safe to store the kids while Penfold and I finished our mission and your lab was the first place I could think of!" Danger Mouse repeated.

"But why?!" Professor Squawkencluck finally snapped, throwing her wings up with a tired expression. She knew Danger Mouse wasn't always the brightest crayon in the box, but for him to honestly think about her lab and associate it as a safe place for children was something even he should've been smart enough to NOT do. Even if the Dawn incident had never occurred, a science lab was never a safe place for a little kid, especially if both of their parents were too busy to watch them at the moment. How and why would it have ever occurred to Danger Mouse that leaving the kids alone in her lab was a good idea?! Because it wasn't! It was a terrible idea!

Right at that moment, then, Penfold stumbled into the lab, looking dirty and disheveled. His clothing was torn and smoking.

"Well, Chief! I managed to at least put out the fire!" he cried tiredly as he fixed his skewered glasses.

"Fire?!" Professor Squawkencluck narrowed her eyes at her husband, but her voice had suddenly gotten very quiet. That was not a good thing.

"Uh oh," Danger Mouse repeated, taking a step back.

"Ah! Say, Chief! Do you really think it's such a good idea to be letting the kids wander around the lab like that?" the hamster asked, his attention pulled away from his boss by his "nephew" and "niece" running back and forth across Professor Squawkencluck's lab tables, having some sort of obstacle course race as they ducked under, around and over the various tools and equipment the hen had laid out earlier.

"GAH!" both of the children's parents shrieked when they realized that Penfold was right and they were quick to swoop over and yank the children off of the table.

"Awwww, mum! Dad!" Layley whined again as she felt herself being scooped up into Danger Mouse's arms. Wimbert made a similarly disappointed gurgle as Professor Squawkencluck quickly swept him up under her large, open wings.

"Hmmm, maybe we need to go back to the Danger Lounge and sort this all out upstairs," Penfold remarked when he saw the frazzled look on everyone's faces. They all looked like they wanted to argue, but Penfold raised his chin insistently and they decided to just shut up and follow him. They were all too tired to argue with him anyway. Penfold still might've been the weakest and meekest of the family, but he could be surprisingly sharp and firm when he needed to be, especially when it came to domestic life, and/or settling disputes of any kind. He was actually a very good uncle to his friends' kids and he really knew how to mediate, even though their seemingly-endless energy did frighten and exhaust him sometimes.

Half an hour later, everyone looked much more relaxed. While Professor Squawkencluck had a nice warm cup of tea, Danger Mouse was reclining calmly by her side, one arm wrapped around her shoulder as they watched their favorite TV show together. In front of them, Layley and Wimbert had been distracted by some new toys Professor Squawkencluck had built for them. In actuality, they were only small, spare parts that she had not needed while building her latest invention, but thanks to her and her husband's quick wits, those spare parts quickly became new toys for their kids to play with. Penfold sat with them, helping them create a marvelous story and a fantastic adventure for their new characters. They had all since managed to come to some sort of compromise and now everything was alright again. Everyone was looking and feeling a lot happier and at ease than before and it was all thanks to Penfold's amazing diplomacy.

To make a long story short, it was agreed that, for the time being, Danger Mouse, Professor Squawkencluck and their kids would just live in the Danger Lounge until their own home could be fixed. From then on, it would be agreed that Professor Squawkencluck would build a nursery room off to the side of her lab so that she could watch the kids whenever her husband had to go away on a danger mission. With Colonel K's permission, then, other "kid friendly" checkpoints were set up all over the agency. That way, in case anything ever happened to the lab, there would be other places for Layley and Wimbert to take shelter in, and there was now a long list of unofficial babysitters for the pair. If Danger Mouse, Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck were all ever busy at the exact same time, other Danger agents had offered to step up and help look after the kids. It really wasn't easy to be in that line of work and raise children, but Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse had both really wanted it and their friends were far too supportive to tell them no. Instead, they only agreed to help. After all, they did say it took a village…

So now, with a proper support system in place, everyone could relax again.

"But seriously, Danger Mouse, what did drive you to think that it would be safe to leave the kids at my lab?" Professor Squawkencluck asked again, though she sounded more curious than accusing. "Why not leave them at the med bay? Or in Penfold's office? Or even with Colonel K?"

"Well, the med bay is usually only reserved for those in dire need of it," Danger Mouse began. "Penfold's office is a bit boring-"

"Hey!" Penfold looked up from his playthings indignantly.

"Well it's true!" Danger Mouse shrugged right back at him. Penfold's frown deepened, but he turned back to entertain his niece and nephew without further protestation. But Danger Mouse really wasn't wrong. Layley had, admittedly, once told him that she found her Uncle Penfold to be a tad dry and dull. It had made Danger Mouse laugh for five minutes straight, but Layley did still love her uncle dearly.

"And as for Colonel? Well, he's a busy man," Danger Mouse said. "I would've felt bad just dropping them off at his doorstep."

"But you think I'm not?" Professor Squawkencluck frowned a little. "I run the lab that helps you and Penfold survive your missions when one or both of you manages to do something so incredibly stupid that you nearly jeopardize the entire mission!"

"Well, I know you don't always have time to look after the kids anymore than anyone else at the agency does," Danger Mouse admitted. "But I just felt like your lab would be the place where they would feel the most at home…" and with that one little sentence, Professor Squawkencluck's world shifted a little. It was such a simple reply, but it made her pause.

"What?" she asked her husband softly.

"Yeah," he replied. "When I said earlier that I thought your lab was the safest place for them, I didn't mean that in a literal sense, because Heaven knows your lab is nothing but a _nest_ of danger. It probably breaks at least 27 health and safety codes!"

"It does not!" Professor Squawkencluck crossed her wings, but Danger Mouse kept right on going.

"But even though the lab itself isn't very safe, it's home-y," he said. "So that's why I dumped the children there. I thought they would feel the safest, or rather, the most happy and at home, in your lab. I know I do."

"You what?" Professor Squawkencluck asked again.

"I feel most at home in your lab," Danger Mouse replied shamelessly. "I feel safest and happiest there, like it is the one place where I truly belong. I mean, I know I trash it on almost a daily basis, but I still really like it there and I've come to associate the lab with good things, with happy memories. It's where I feel the most at home and I thought the kids might too…"

"Oh Danger Mouse," Professor Squawkencluck sighed at last. "You brilliant idiot…" and then she kissed him on the cheek.

"Eeew!" their children both pretended to recoil, but Professor Squawkencluck was shameless about giving her husband that little kiss. Somehow, he had done it again. In the same fashion that he always did, he managed to make her feel like an idiot, a jerk and a loser all right before giving an unintenionally-heartfelt confession about how much he really cared about her and everything she did, which only sent her flying back up to Cloud Nine and beyond once again. It was the very same thing that made her fall so deeply in love with him that they got married at all. It seemed that this little tic of his still had yet to ever go away, not that he was really properly aware of it. And to be quite honest, Professor Squawkencluck almost didn't want it to go away.

Danger Mouse really did have a way with her. One minute, he'd be there deriding and insulting her and her work and the next, he'd make some offhanded remark about her and her inventions that would make her realize how much he really did depend on and appreciate it (and her). This was just another one of those many, many examples. He'd gone from chastising her about not letting him keep their kids in the lab to explaining that it was because he felt so very safe and happy at her lab and with her that he was certain their kids would feel the same. And he hadn't even said this in an effort to woo her, but that was what made it all the more effective. He had been totally sincere when he said that he found her lab to be a like a home to him, and such a high compliment meant so much to her on so many levels. Maybe a house was not a home, but for them, a lab most certainly was.

"Oh Danger Mouse," Professor Squawkencluck repeated. "You brilliant idiot…" and then she kissed him again. She really did love him with all of her heart, infuriating as he was. And she adored her family as well, though what a strange family it was. But no matter how strange, it was also always so full of love and support and, at the end of the day, wasn't that what all of this was really all about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Here you go Calvin+Fuiji, your "DM/Squawk and the kids" fic. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. A New Family

A few months after their marriage, and very _fun_ honeymoon, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck found themselves being sent out on yet another epic mission.

"But we only just got back!" the hen sighed mournfully, and she meant that quite literally. The Danger Car had only just pulled up to HQ when they got the assignment. Apparently, a local adoption center was being robbed. The burglar in question was trying to hold the kids for ransom. Upon hearing that, Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse immediately reversed back down the street, the desire to go home instantly forgotten in light of this new mission. Professor Squawkencluck might've been a bit irked that they hadn't even had time to get out of the car, but hearing that innocent children were in danger instantly sent all of those thoughts out the window.

The couple arrived at the center just in time to see their burglar holding a white tigress cub by her neck. But they could not see the robber's face, for the robber was covered from head to toe in a long black robe that concealed their every feature.

"Let her go!" Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse shouted in unison. The burglar turned on them and laughed, a chilling sound.

"Sorry, but no can do, mi amico!" he replied, and the second Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse heard that iconic Italian accent, they knew exactly who they were up against.

"Stiletto!" they again shouted in unison.

"Si!" came the smug reply as the burglar removed his robe with his free wing.

"But why?" Danger Mouse demanded. "I didn't know you wanted kids!"

"I don't, foolish mouse!" the black bird cried. "The barone does!"

"What does he want another kid for? Doesn't he already have Delilah?" Danger Mouse asked next, crossing his arms and narrowing his eye. He took a step forward. Stiletto answered by taking one backward.

In truth, he knew this was no mere adoption scheme, but he figured that the longer he could keep Stiletto talking, the more time it would give him or his new wife to come up with a plan. Normally, they would've already had this mission wrapped up and done for, but since they had come straight away from their honeymoon, they had none of their spy gear on hand. The Danger Car's trunk was full not of weapons and gadgets, but of vacation clothing and wedding presents. It wasn't exactly useful stuff in a time like this… So instead, Danger Mouse kept talking. And walking. But for every step he took towards Stiletto, Stiletto took that many backward. Neither of them were willing to break this back-and-forth and attack directly, each of them worried about the safety of the tiger cub still trapped in Stiletto's cruel grasp.

"We believe this little kitten, here, possesses the secret to activating a super weapon," the black bird replied, giving the cub a sharp shake as he mentioned her. She whimpered once before falling silent again. Danger Mouse took another step. So did Stiletto.

"A super weapon?" now Danger Mouse's question wasn't just asked to stall time, he genuinely wanted to know what sort of insanity had conjured up this belief, that a tiny little tiger cub could possibly hold the key to anything! Except maybe some sort of silly kiddie toy…

"She is a rare albino tiger!" Stiletto cried impatiently. "Even amongst other albino tigers, she is a rarity! We need to scan her DNA to see what her special gene is and Barone believes that if he can find that gene then he can-" but before the black bird could finish his monologue, he was suddenly squashed flat… by Professor Squawkencluck.

While Danger Mouse had engaged Stiletto in a verbal battle, Professor Squawkencluck had been busy planning for a physical one. First, she had managed to sneakily evacuate all the other people in the adoption center, staff and children alike. Then, once they were safely out, she had managed to sneak over to the front desk and climb on top of it. From there, she clawed her way up the light fixture hanging over the desk. That was when Danger Mouse had begun to guide Stiletto towards her. He hadn't just been taking random steps towards the black bird, but rather, he had been slowly guiding Stiletto towards Professor Squawkencluck. Then, once he was in range, Professor Squawkencluck leapt from the light fixture and landed hard on Stiletto's head, her rather large rear end squashing him flat.

"Ouch," he gasped from underneath Professor Squawkencluck's large behind. Professor Squawkencluck smirked down at him.

"That was easy!" she remarked and Danger Mouse returned her satisfied smile with one of his own.

From that day on, then, the little white tigress became his child. They had not originally planned upon adopting, or even having kids at all, but life had a funny way of changing up on them and, after a daring rescue such as that, the little white cub had become infatuated with them. They learned that her name was Layla and that she wanted nothing more in the world than to be their child.

"You saved me!" she cried gratefully. "Do you think you could take me with you when you go home?" and even though Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse had originally planned on saying no, seeing that sweet little face and fretting that she might be in further danger due to her rare condition, they changed their minds at once and said yes. A new family had just begun.

A few years later, their family gained another member. The trio had been taking a nice late-night walk out by the Thames river when they heard what sounded like a baby crying.

"Should we go see what's wrong?" Layla asked, ears twitching nervously. Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse did not reply verbally, but instead, they shared a quick look. In that one look, there was an agreement. They would explore the sound, but one of them would hang several steps back in case it turned out to be a trap, or something too dangerous for Layla to handle. Professor Squawkencluck went ahead while Danger Mouse, Layla secure in his arms, followed several feet behind. What they found was completely harmless.

"A baby!" Layla gasped. And she was right. It was a baby. An albino racoon kit. But that was all. There was no one else in the area. Except… Two bodies. Larger albino racoons. The baby's parents. And they were dead.

While Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse studied the bodies and tried to make sense of what had happened, Layla was quick to comfort the squalling infant.

"Shhh, shhh, there, there. I'm here. I'm here now. And so are my mom and dad. Everything will be alright now," she whispered, purring a little in hopes that the soft, soothing sound rumbling from her little chest would comfort the crying creature. It worked to some degree and the infant managed to drop down to pathetic little whimpers as opposed to full-blown sobs and screams. Layla continued to whisper and hum to the babe as she rocked him in her paws, claws sheathed safely. While she worked with the child, her parents continued to study the bodies and try to piece together the story. In the end, they concluded that it must've been a mugging, the parents dying to protect their child.

"How terrible," Danger Mouse made a strangled noise as the story fell into place. Professor Squawkencluck knew at once that he was crying. Being a father to Layla had increased his sense of empathy, especially towards parents and children, and it wasn't hard to see how or why this tragic murder might be affecting him so. But ever the stubborn warrior that he was, he refused to let the tears fall. The pain was evident in his voice, but he kept a dry face. Professor Squawkencluck did likewise, trying to give him a comforting and supportive smile as she patted his back gently. She was proud of his strength, both as an agent and a father. So the robber had successfully gotten away, but what were they going to do about the baby that the robber's attack had left behind?

Well, in time, Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse adopted him too! They had tried to find any other surviving relatives, but there didn't appear to be a single other albino racoon in all the country. And they were able to find records on the dead parents, which labeled them as natives to England, so it wasn't like the baby had family outside the country. No grandparents or cousins or aunts or uncles. Nothing! And no one.

"He really doesn't have anyone, does he?" Professor Squawkencluck clucked sadly. Not a single other albino racoon was in the books!

"Yes he does," Danger Mouse replied, wrapping an arm around her. "He has us." And from that day on, the baby racoon found a new family.

"But what will we call him?" the hen asked her husband. For a moment, the mouse mulled the question over. Then his eye lit up.

"I don't have any good names, but there might be someone who does!" he said, then that eye slid over to Layla…

Layla had been over the moon to hear that she was not only getting a baby brother, but that she would get to pick the name too.

"How about Wimbert?!" she asked excitedly, tail swishing back and forth in her bliss. She had grown incredibly fond of the baby in the short time they were together. Not only had they bonded over their shared orphan-hood, but they also bonded over their shared albinism. Layla was beyond delighted to hear that they would soon be bonding over new parents as well.

"Wimbert?" her parents echoed. It was not a name they'd ever heard before.

"I made it up, sillies!" Layla laughed. "It just sounds so cute and sweet, like him! Oh! Doesn't he just look like a Wimbert?" she held the baby out to her parents, who continued to wear amused expressions.

"Well, it _is_ original and creative," Professor Squawkencluck remarked.

"And the kid will never have the misfortune of finding someone else who shares his name," Danger Mouse agreed. So it was settled, then. The little racoon kit was to be named Wimbert and he was to officially join the Danger Family.

"Best day ever!" Layla shrieked. In her arms, the baby racoon, Wimbert, made a happy gurgling sound as he pawed at his sister's whiskers. Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse, meanwhile, watched the scene with tender eyes, Danger Mouse again wrapping a loving arm around his wife's body. Theirs was a new family and it was certainly an odd one, but not a single one of them would've changed a single thing about it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Calvin, here's the backstory of DM and Squawk's kids! Hope you liked it!


	3. The World's Greatest

Danger Mouse was uncharacteristically quiet that day and no one could decipher why. Not Colonel K. Not the Narrator. Not Penfold. Not his wife, Professor Squawkencluck. Not even his own children, Layla and Wimbert! There was no one in all of London who could understand why Danger Mouse seemed so… unhappy. It wasn't quite sadness or discontent, but it definitely was a very negative energy.

"I don't understand it either," Danger Mouse confessed to himself. "Why am I not feeling like me? Why am I not feeling normal? Why do I feel so… heavy?" it wasn't quite a sleepiness, though a nap did sound divine. He didn't feel ill. He just didn't feel energetic, like his normal self. Oh, he had the strength to do things, but the usual verve with which he went about his business was gone.

"I am the world's greatest…!" he began, trying to bolster his own confidence, but then his voice died back down again. The world's greatest what? Certainly not secret agent, for he hadn't been performing very well of late. The world's greatest slouch, perhaps, but even in times like this, Danger Mouse did not like insulting himself. Even in the lowest times, Danger Mouse retained an arrogance, or confidence, depending on how you looked at it, that nothing could break.

"The world's greatest…" Danger Mouse tried again, but still nothing. His ears drooped and so did his one eye. Why oh why did he feel this way?! The world's greatest… The world's greatest what? Why couldn't he remember? Why did he _feel_ it anymore?

Well, Danger Mouse may not have understood his problems, but any outsider could've easily seen right through it. He was anxious. He was not anxious over anything in particular and it was not the sign of a developing mental health issue, but he was still _anxious_. It was something deep inside, and perpetual. It was like London on an overcast day. No storms. Just grayness. Forever. Heavy and complete, but not dangerous. Just… _there_. And seemingly eternal. And what was causing this moodiness? His _children_.

But it wasn't _them_ in particular. That is, it was nothing that they had done. Instead, it was the simple, natural reaction that came when kids were introduced into an adult's life. No matter how you did it, bringing a kid into any scenario would be bound to change things up. That was exactly what Danger Mouse was struggling with now: fatherhood. Whether he knew it or not, a perpetual worry had been placed upon his shoulders and he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. How did one be a father? How did one juggle fatherhood with a job? Especially a job like his… Sure, the Danger Nursey was a thing, but how did one _do_ it? How did one _be_ a father? How did one act emotionally available while balancing a work life? Were his kids happy? Healthy? Safe? Was he doing it right? Was he doing it at all?

Would they ever grow to resent him? Because life as the child of the world's greatest… well… It wasn't bound to be easy, or normal. Would _not_ giving them a more normal upbringing prove detrimental in later life? Again, Danger Mouse knew about the Danger Babies, but somehow, it seemed different when _his_ kids were the matter of conversation. Would they be ok with the life they were going to be forced to live, as children of a secret agency? And even if they _felt_ ok with it, would it prove to be a healthy upbringing? Because feelings and results didn't always equate. Sure, the kids could _claim_ to be happy, but did they really know that for sure?

And even when it wasn't his children's health that Danger Mouse worried about, it was just fatherhood in general. He wasn't sure how to be a dad. It wasn't something he'd ever practiced or trained for or even ever thought about! That wasn't to say he'd rushed in blindly, but he did not know how to be a dad. He knew how to be a spy. There was a large difference. He worked with tools, not toys. Adults, not kids. Crime-stopping, not caretaking. He didn't know how to cook or clean. He knew how to fight and track. He didn't know how to keep a house, he knew how to keep an agency. He didn't read fairytales, he read crime records and reports.

Oh, he was fine at keeping home and work life separate, worry over his children never infected his work performance, but that was almost starting to worry him. Was it normal for a father to forget his children so completely while at work? The reason for his recent decline in work was not because of the kids, but because of himself. He was worrying about himself too, and that was what was causing his mistakes. He couldn't help but fear that he wasn't being a good dad. He couldn't help but fear that he wasn't being the _right_ dad…

And for quite a while, these latent worries continued to stir underneath the surface of Danger Mouse's mind, like a creature swimming in the dark waters of the ocean. They were not visible, yet they were still very much there. But all of that changed, for the better, on Father's Day.

"Here you go, Daddy!" Layla handed him a mug with the words "#1 Dad" painted on in clumsy, curly print.

"And this one's from me!" Wimbert tottered over to Danger Mouse before handing him a large bag full of candy.

"Wow, guys, thanks! I really appreciate it," he smiled at them tenderly. Stressed as he had been feeling of late, he really did love his kids.

"And I also got you a matching hat!" Layla retook her father's attention, handing him a hat with the same clumsy, curly print as the mug.

"And I built you an action figure!" Wimbert, pushed Layla out of the way again to hand Danger Mouse a cheap little toy that looked like it had been made in his wife's lab out of spare parts. It was clumsily put together and painted to look like him. Danger Mouse loved it.

But the best gift came in last.

"Your children painted you a mural," the mouse's wife said as she walked in holding a large scroll.

"A mural?" he walked over to her but she held out a wing to stop him.

"Cover your eye while I hang it up," she instructed. For a second, he looked like he would protest, but Wimbert and Layla begged him to go along with their little game and Danger Mouse yielded at once.

After several seconds of stifled laughter and unfurling paper, Professor Squawkencluck bade Danger Mouse to open his eye. He obeyed. Then after his eye opened, his mouth did the same. The mural was a clumsy, but adorable and painstaking, drawing of himself and all of his closest friends and family at the Danger Agency. There was Penfold, Professor Squawkencluck, Colonel K, himself, his two kids, and all of his other friends like Danger Moth, Mackerel and everyone else. But the most beautiful part of all was the message written over top: THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAD. And in that one second, it was like a light had been turned on in Danger Mouse's head. Even though he still wasn't quite aware of all of his struggles, or where they were coming from, just getting to see those words written out finally gave him something to ground himself on. It was like everything was becoming a little bit clearer.

He was not perfect, not by a longshot, and he certainly wasn't "THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAD" like his kids believed, but just seeing what they considered him to be gave him all the hope, faith and drive to want to achieve that goal. It was no longer about being the world's greatest secret agent. He now also wanted to be, like the childish mural said, THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAD. But even more than that, he just wanted to be the world's greatest. He wanted to do and be good. He wanted to be an inspiration to others, whether they be friend, foe or family. Danger Mouse wanted to be the world's greatest. The world's greatest what? Well, the world's greatest _everything_. And with the faith of his family, he would find the strength and courage to pursue that dream. He would be ok. He would make it through. And even if he didn't reach his goal 100%, he would try his hardest and that would be more than enough. He would find peace and balance not just within himself, but in the place between himself and his family and that would truly be the world's greatest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Calvin, here's DM worrying about being a dad.


	4. Snapshots

In all of his years of living, never once did Danger Mouse think that _snapshots_ , of all things, would be what brought him and his family together. Yet somehow, they had. The proof was sitting right there in his lap. It was a scrapbook, compiling the years of history he and his family had made together. Somehow, against all odds and expectations, snapshots and photographs _had_ managed to play a huge role in the mouse's life after all. And the stories that they told were just as unbelievable and miraculous as the connection between mouse and photograph itself! Who'd have thought? But then again, life _did_ have a habit of creating the best and most unexpected of plot twists…

The very first snapshot in the scrapbook was the fateful and iconic photograph that started it all: the one that looked like Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck kissing. Even though they now knew it was not a kiss, but rather, a "passing the key through the mouth" trick, it was still the snapshot that started it all. After that particular adventure was over, the mouse and hen began to explore the implications of that picture, and it led them down a path neither of them ever could have foreseen, even with the Futuroid camera… It was snapshots that had started the story, it would be snapshots that carried it through to the end…

The dynamic duo began to hang out more often and the arguments that used to be so full of bitterness, envy and resentment became gentle, playful bouts of bickering. They liked to call _those_ types of arguments the "Heads and Tails" arguments because, more often than not, regardless of what it was that sparked the argument to begin, it always devolved into simple, playful, slightly meanspirited jokes about Danger Mouse's empty head and Professor Squawkencluck's rather large tail respectively.

And that was actually the next set of snapshots in the scrapbook. In all their years together, whether to be used as "proof" or simply taken for posterity, there were a handful of photos of Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck each in awkward, embarrassing situations. There was a photo of Danger Mouse furless, after he had arrogantly drunk a tonic Professor Squawkencluck was not finished with (which resulted in all his fur immediately falling out, much to his embarrassment and Professor Squawkencluck's annoyance). Then there was a photo of him running around London half naked after his suit tore because he hit the wrong button inside the Danger Car (long story). Then there were various photos of him standing around various types of broken equipment (machinery, glassware, weaponry, furniture, etc.) which were testaments to every single time he'd messed up Professor Squawkencluck's lab, or anything else in the Danger Agency. Professor Squawkencluck had taken every single photo, wishing to tease, embarrass and reprimand Danger Mouse for all of his stupid mistakes.

"They really ought to call you 'Doltish' Mouse, oughten they?" she had asked him, many, many times before.

But it was not totally one-sided. Instead, Professor Squawkencluck had her own fair share of embarrassing photos too. Danger Mouse never missed a chance to take a picture every time Professor Squawkencluck broke something because her overly-large tailfeathers had knocked into it. And there were also several photos and notes of times when Professor Squawkencluck had nearly botched a secret mission because her behind was too large to allow for her to sneak around easily, or to fit into tight spaces without needing a lot of help getting back out. Perhaps the worst incident of this was when the team had been trying to infiltrate one of Greenback's new secret lairs, but the door was so small that Professor Squawkencluck had gotten stuck in it and the entire rest of the mission was devoted to squeezing her back out. And then one that still never failed to make Danger Mouse howl with laughter was a photo of a very squashed remote. Three guesses on how _that_ happened.

But then the photos turned into something nicer. The next snapshots followed the story of how the mouse and hen fell in love. There were several pictures of them doing mundane stuff together (like eating, watching TV, playing games, going for walks, etc.) but what really made this so important was that it was the first time that they _really_ began to hang out outside of work. And not only that, but although the pictures had started out platonically, they did not end that way. Instead, about halfway through, they segued into more romantic photos, with kisses on cheeks and activities that were far more romantically coded than before. For example, if Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse used to eat out together before, the newer photos showed them at fancy restaurants rather than just at Big Mike's Pie Stand.

Danger Mouse smiled as he looked at that particular photo, the one of him and her on their first date together. It had been his idea, but it had taken him quite a long time to spit the idea out. First, he had to get over the jitters of trying to ask his crush out. Then he needed to actually come up with an idea for the date. Then he needed to figure out a good time to ask. Then he needed to actually go ask. Suffice to say, it took him nearly a month in total to ask Professor Squawkencluck out for the very first time, and then once he finally plucked up the courage to ask, he'd stumbled and tripped over his words so badly that it took him nearly five minutes just to force out a lighthearted greeting.

But fast forward a few more years and all that shyness went away. The next time Danger Mouse needed to ask Professor Squawkencluck an important question, the delivery was perfect and it was Professor Squawkencluck's turn to turn into a squawking mess.

"Professor Squawkencluck, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" he had asked, and then it took Professor Squawkencluck nearly 10 minutes just to stop crying. But with a question like that, she hadn't needed to respond with words. Instead, her sharp, beaky kisses had answered the question just fine, and even though Danger Mouse's lips were a bit sore after it was all over, they remained in a permanent smile all the way up until their wedding. That was the next set of pictures, after all the snapshots of Professor Squawkencluck crying and showing off her new ring.

The pair chose to get married in the Danger Agency itself. Perhaps to some, getting married at work would be horrid, but because that place just meant so much to the bride and groom in question, they considered it a delight to be wed at the place where they had met and shared so many good memories. Penfold, Colonel K, the other Danger Agents and both the bride and groom's family were in attendance. The agency had never been so full before. There were pages and pages of snapshots from _that_ event.

There was Danger Mouse in his suit, and his best man and ring-bearer, Penfold, in a matching one. There was Colonel K in his own old wedding tux. It hadn't fit him very well, but no one said a word about it. Then of course, there was Professor Squawkencluck in her gown. And there was an array of snapshots of the agency itself, having gone all-out with the décor. Even Professor Squawkencluck's lab had been filled with rose petals and streamers! Not a single room in the entire agency was left undecorated, even the bathrooms! (Big Mike provided the wedding cake).

"Do you, Danger Mouse, take Professor Squawkencluck to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the Narrator asked, officiating the wedding.

"I do," Danger Mouse replied, one eye shining. Even his eyepatch had been gussied up, decorated to match his suit and tie.

"And do you, Professor Squawkencluck-" but the Narrator didn't even get to finish.

"I DO!" she cried, then she kissed Danger Mouse without another word, and he kissed back just as hard as the entire room filled with applause.

"You crazy kids!" the Narrator sighed, but everyone could hear it in his voice that he was equally happy that his closest coworkers had found such joy. Sure, he liked to complain about the hen and mouse all the time, but even _he_ would not deny them their happiness on their own wedding day.

Then the next set of snapshots were of their honeymoon (in Gibraltar, Iberian Peninsula). Most of the photos detailed a story of a mouse and hen sightseeing and relaxing, laughing and playing, spending all their time together and outdoors, but this was a mildly misleading narrative. The newlyweds spent a great many wonderful nights together as well, but of course, pictures like _that_ were _not_ going to be in a scrapbook like _this_. Instead, all of their happy nights together were going to be left in memory, rather than photograph.

And a few years after this, the scrapbook started shifting focus over to two new family members: Layla and Wimbert. Although the two had been adopted as children rather than infants, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck more than made up for lost time. There were snapshots of them on the day they were adopted. There were snapshots of them learning their way around the Agency. There were snapshots of them with all of their Danger relatives (including their parents and Uncle Penfold and Grandpa K).

There were snapshots of Layla learning how to fight with Danger Mouse. Although she was only a cub, her claws were already very sharp and she had a great physicality. She was an excellent fighter, a fast learner and an amazing climber.

"Way to go, Lala!" Danger Mouse praised as she darted around the rafters of the training room, claws wrapped tightly around the wooden beams.

"Thanks Daddy!" she meowed back down at him, whiskers twitching with pride as she continued to zoom around.

"Gaba-ga-goo!" baby Wimbert clapped his little paws, adoration in his wide eyes. He was sitting in the stands that ran around the training room.

There were snapshots of Layla following Professor Squawkencluck dutifully around the lab and acting as her faithful assistant.

"I need you to bring me a little glass vial, ok?" Professor Squawkencluck encouraged her daughter.

"A little glass vial?" Layla echoed, turning around to face the rows and rows of little glass vials that Professor Squawkencluck owned.

"A little glass vial!" Professor Squawkencluck nodded, gently nudging Layla in the right direction.

"Here you go, Mum!" she said a few seconds later, as she returned to her mom with a little glass vial in her paws.

"Thank you, darlin'!" Professor Squawkencluck patted her soft, furry white head with an affectionate wing.

"How adorable!" Danger Mouse sighed, lowering his camera to look tenderly at his eldest child.

"She's far better than _you_ ," Professor Squawkencluck agreed with a teasing wink.

"Professor Squawkencluck, shush!" Danger Mouse pouted.

"Isn't that usually what you say to Penfold?" she teased, then she gave him another wink before heading deeper into the back of her lab, Layla still trailing loyally after her, a big smile on her face. Danger Mouse watched them go with a fond sigh and a gentle roll of his one yellow eye.

And then there were snapshots of Layla working with her little brother, teaching him how to walk and talk.

"HIS FIRST STEP!" Layla shrieked as Wimbert toddled to his feet, slowly but steadily. It took a bit, but he finally raised one little paw up, moved it forward, then set it back down again. "HIS FIRST STEP!" while Layla clapped her paws furiously, claws clicking together and tail lashing in pure excitement, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck also cheered on their youngest.

"Way to go, Wimmy!" Danger Mouse cried, raising his fist triumphantly in the air. "I knew you could do it!"

"Oh! Bravo! Good show, my boy! Good show!" Penfold agreed, clapping just as furiously.

"My wonderful little boy!" Professor Squawkencluck cried, clasping her wings together adoringly. "You're such a fast learner!"

"Isn't he?" Layla agreed as she scuttled over to Wimbert's side. She'd been training him nonstop in the art of walking and now at last, it seemed that her lessons had finally paid off. Wimbert, meanwhile, gave them all a lopsided grin and cooed at them proudly.

And although taking pictures of a child's first word wasn't quite as easy as taking a picture of a child's first step, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck caught everyone's reaction. Wimbert's first word was his sister's name.

"La… La… Ley… Layla!" he had said, and while Layla burst into happy tears, Professor Squawkencluck looked over the moon and Danger Mouse once again gave his young son a hearty bout of cheering while Penfold got the camera.

And all across the board, for the rest of the scrapbook, there were similar snapshots of the daily lives of the Danger family. There were still plenty of photos of Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse, madly in love (although again, only the daytime portion of their romance could be shown). There were still plenty of photos of them teasing one another over empty heads and overly-large tails. There were still snapshots of them going on adventures and working in the lab together. And there were more snapshots of the kids, growing up and learning.

There were snapshots of them studying and playing. There were snapshots of the four together with Uncle Penfold and Grandpa K, creating some of the sweetest, cutest family photos that anyone in the Agency had ever seen before. There were snapshots of the kids making jam with Uncle Penfold, and listening to Grandpa K's stories of his glorious past as a secret agent. And even moments that were scary or sad managed to become beautiful memories in the end.

At one point in time, Greenback had kidnapped Layla and Wimbert, planning on using them as a ransom against their parents. It didn't work too well. Although Greenback had been right that Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse loved their kids more than anything, he was so wrong in thinking that they would just roll over and submit to his demands. Sure, knowing that their kids were in his slimy hands was terrifying, but neither of them were the type to sit idly by and hide. Instead, they once again got to show the world just what a power couple they were and they did not hesitate to used their combined brain and brawn to launch a daring and epic rescue mission that would go down in the books as one of the most epic battles in the history of the entire Danger Agency!

And Greenback, himself, would remember it as one of his soundest defeats. He made sure to steer clear of the Danger kids after that. Sure, they could be wonderful bargaining chips, but Professor Squawkencluck and Danger Mouse were far too protective and brave to allow their fears to control them. Instead, even when their kids were in danger, they managed to keep level heads, and they channeled their parental protectiveness into something productive, and that was exactly what saved their children that day. There were photos of the happy reunion inside the scrapbook, right alongside the newspaper clipping detailing Greenback's sound defeat and subsequent arrest.

But for all the snapshots of the daily lives of the Danger family, there was still a lot of blank space inside that scrapbook, and it was all blank space that Danger Mouse was so looking forward to filling. In all of his years of living, never once did Danger Mouse think that _snapshots_ , of all things, would be what brought him and his family together. Yet they had. From that first fateful snapshot of the Futuroid camera to the ones from last night's silly game night, snapshots had really been the thing that had brought his family together and chronicled his life story. It was a very unexpected connection, but that was life for you. It was sometimes so unpredictable not even a Futuroid camera could foresee it properly.

And if anything, the unexpected nature of the connection between Danger Mouse and cameras and pictures was even more fitting, because if anyone had told him years ago that he would he a husband to the hen whom he used to consider insufferable, and then a father to two adopted kids, he would've laughed, and yet that's exactly where life had taken him. It took him the most unexpected of directions through the connection to the most unexpected of objects: a camera. But he did not need a Futuroid camera to help him guess what a great life he still had left.

And now, with so much scrapbook still left to fill, Danger Mouse couldn't help but get excited to imagine where life's unexpected twists and turns would take him next. And whether or not he had a Futuroid camera to help him guess, he did not care. All that mattered was that this would be a story he and his family would forge together, and his trusty cameras (Futuroid or other) would be there to help him tell the story. It was snapshots that had started his story, it would be snapshots that carried him through to the end. His cameras would capture his life in a wonderful, beautiful constellation of snapshots until the scrapbook was finally full and the story finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Here you go, Calvin Fuiji, more Squawkenmouse plus kids!


End file.
